Giving up, Moving on.

I have come to realize that I only write on my blog when things are not going so well. I guess this is how I express myself; but I hate it because people who don’t know me and read this blog will probably think I hate my life and everything about it. This is not true. It just so happens that I get into writing moods when I’m feeling down.
My blog is also very morbid. This is just a big part of me. I would never try to kill myself on purpose, but I do think about death a lot and relate it to other aspects of my life.
That said, I come to the reason why I’m writing right now...

I’m hung-over, tired, and I’m working on Memorial Day. I agreed to work so that was my fault. I wasn’t scheduled, I volunteered. BIG MISTAKE! So, I’m writing to make the time go by. I’m also very pensive, because of changes going on in my life. Changes that are pretty much out of my hands, and as frustrating as that may be I know they are changes for the better. I have become less and less tolerant of people and their bullshit and frankly I’m done with any relationship remotely difficult. If it’s too hard its not gonna happen! I have also learned that any commitment is too much commitment for me. The only thing I am committed to is my snake Willie, my job, and my Tattoos!

“I’m too young to love; I’m too old to cry!” –Crazy antics

Love and Death

Why do we all long, Long to be loved?
When love is not life
and life is not love.

It brings Death to freedom and decision
Death to happiness and forgiveness
Death to maturity and security
Death to humility and my tranquility

Looking in the eyes of fate.
A fate which lies and puts us at the mercy
of another being who now holds the key
to an exposed broken possession which used to be
we hold on to love like it's the only real thing
we do not see the reality of its fatality


Death to hope but you still have faith
Death to sex now its all a game
Death to friendship more deception
Death to beauty only questions
Death to sanity just dementia
Death to emotion
Now only depression

Love is a synonym to death.
Love is a mental train wreck
Love is a risk
Not many should take
Love ruins lives
You seek good advice
But you do not see, your eyes are blind
Love and death go hand in hand
go hand in hand hand in hand


Death to Passion just corruption
Death to thought now memory loss.
Death to truth only lies
Death to laughter that's my demise
Death to pleasure only pressure.
Death to dreams you get no prize
Say goodbye goodbye goodbye

Love is death, Love and death

-Karina V.

Blue

So today is my birthday. Cinco de Mayo. I was born at 10:30am on May 5th 23 years ago. And every year for the past 15 or so years I have the birthday blues on my birthday...
So im sitting here in front of my computer counting down the minutes until this wrethced day is over.

Cant wait for the weekend!!!