tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32104206398243633912024-03-14T07:39:32.465-07:00Lies and Contradictions~~~~Lying brings destruction
and it leads to lives corrupted
but I go home all alone
in my dark dungeon I call home
where it all comes to life
and where I learn to disguise
all my lies and contradictions
to make people believe my science fiction~~~ KarinaCrazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-64336920219304188182011-09-01T02:27:00.000-07:002011-09-01T02:38:27.847-07:00Heartache and Sadness10 Years after 9-11 I find myself almost obsessed by the events that unfolded that eerie September morning. It still feels like it wasn’t real. Like what I saw on TV that day was just a movie, but deep down I know it all happened.
<br />I will never completely understand the devastation felt by all the people at or near ground zero, the Pentagon, and in the airplanes. Even the families and friends of those lost have a better grip on the reality of the chaos that day than I do.
<br />Wanting to truly and fully understand what really happened that day I have been searching daily for stories. I want to know what people saw, smelled, felt. I want to feel like I was there, partly because to me it is still so incomprehensible. I still can’t wrap my brain around it. How can humans in this “progressive” world with so much technology and abundance still act so barbaric?
<br />People who were not anywhere near Manhattan or the Pentagon or who didn’t know someone working in these buildings or in the airplanes will never completely grasp the devastation on September 11th 2001.
<br />I read this story published in December of 2001 and I now have a sense of the real horrors people experienced that day.
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<br />http://www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/ESQ0102-JAN_WTC_rev
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<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN6hbtZjALzSHSrxKqb0UV0Im_5YgZiuyFiB6sDxyZwYpdTJ4zUO6T2DLEN3UqQ0OsTU8PPN79rwKm287CMjZgWEyqBDlKigFZJuXw8hA_aBqXI_GoNYArjH_sA_2HA9JjqQj88tp3me4/s1600/twin-towers-image.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN6hbtZjALzSHSrxKqb0UV0Im_5YgZiuyFiB6sDxyZwYpdTJ4zUO6T2DLEN3UqQ0OsTU8PPN79rwKm287CMjZgWEyqBDlKigFZJuXw8hA_aBqXI_GoNYArjH_sA_2HA9JjqQj88tp3me4/s400/twin-towers-image.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5647321540056394050" /></a><a href="http://www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/ESQ0102-JAN_WTC_rev"></a>
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<br />Never Forgotten.<a href="http://www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/ESQ0102-JAN_WTC_rev"></a>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-85320974412148189152011-07-10T20:27:00.000-07:002011-07-10T21:30:47.600-07:00Feeling....So it appears I have neglected my blog for quite some time now. I guess I have been caught up in my misery and yes, of course my partying.<br /><br />I have always said my life is far too interesting for my own good. Lately it’s been more of a bore. . . and I’m going insane. I miss the days of intrigue and excitement; even the bullshit. More and more I feel this urge to seek help. Some may say that’s a good thing but I say it’s a sign that I have lost control. And yes, things are spiraling out of control. The things and people that use to amuse me endlessly are now trinkets collecting dust in my mind with a short shelf life.<br /><br />Here is an email I wrote to someone. I regret sending it now. . .<br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;font-size:85%;">Hey how have you been? Me. it’s hard to sleep these days! My mind is an absolute scrambled mess! Not really sure why I'm sharing this but I felt like writing; but not to thin air ya know!(<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Like writing in a blog feels sometimes</span>) I wanted to write to someone. Do you ever feel like you're days are numbered? Like you're literally living out your last few days? I have been feeling like that a lot lately. Like a weird premonition. It’s probably just wishful thinking! (<span style="color:#ff0000;">Nothing to worry about I'm not suicidal... Thinking you're gonna die/Wishing for death and Wanting to kill yourself are two different things! Right?</span>)<br />My plans haven't gone, well, as planned. Today I was reading some stuff I wrote a while back. It was about my life at that time and how happy I was; seems like so long ago!( <span style="color:#ff0000;">It was one of my blogs... It was about how I was living on my own, working a great job, and partying all the time with my awesome friends</span><span style="color:#000000;">) </span> I just want to get out of here. Out of LA! I have always said LA kills your soul. . . It’s definitely putting the choke hold on mine. I don't know what I want anymore! I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore. It’s funny because I notice the most obvious things about myself when I'm intoxicated . . . Things I probably already know but never have the courage to think or say when I'm sober. Courage may not be the right word. I think it’s my pride and this image I have of myself that won't let me see how truly pathetic I can be. Most people have this crazy image of me but it’s all fabricated by Me. I'm sure you never imagined to get such an email from me. What’s funny is that you don't really know me and I don't really know you. Maybe this is why I feel I can “talk” to you.(<span style="color:#ff0000;">I really didn't want to talk to him. I just wanted him to listen. Men never get it right</span>)Is that weird? Am I weird? You know whenever people ask that question I think they want the answer to be yes. They want to feel special, different, eccentric.<br />You're probably gonna feel overwhelmed when you read this . . . Sorry if I made you feel that way. I really just needed to talk to someone without really talking, and for a girl who has a lot of friends I don't have anyone to just talk to. I may regret this email in the morning but I know ill regret it more if I had never sent it. I really do hope you're well and please don't feel obligated to respond to this.(<span style="color:#ff0000;">AKA please don't respond to this</span>) I actually might not want to know what you think after reading it. Probably that I need help! I probably do. Can I just ask you one thing? Don't share this with anyone I'm not big on sharing! Thank you for listening<br /></span><br />Let’s just say I won’t be talking to him any time soon. I didn’t need him to try and fix me. I just needed him to listen. I’m beginning to think this is why I am so intent on seeking help not so much to be “fixed” but to have someone to listen. Sad really. I have to pay someone to Listen to me….<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnkmlcoFT5FERDHm4NuVF7u_iEGbgWwWt9_L3Emp_q939KeCU55rUFzdj000KdMhUa5rk50mYWVosSyuI0tkqOunw2h62Xzd8z26Rk69SP9XlK7D_KEH-ex_o5rI0rHsbOKnGFVTZkJkw/s1600/Suicide_hanging_by_CaptainBoneDaddy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 273px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnkmlcoFT5FERDHm4NuVF7u_iEGbgWwWt9_L3Emp_q939KeCU55rUFzdj000KdMhUa5rk50mYWVosSyuI0tkqOunw2h62Xzd8z26Rk69SP9XlK7D_KEH-ex_o5rI0rHsbOKnGFVTZkJkw/s400/Suicide_hanging_by_CaptainBoneDaddy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5627947342098320882" /></a>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-18586776845454306952010-10-12T16:01:00.000-07:002010-10-14T16:18:39.529-07:00Oktoberfest, Beerfest, Funfest!!!October 12, 1810 The first Oktoberfest.<br /> <br />So what is Oktoberfest? Historically Oktoberfest was a festival/horse race in honor of King Ludwig I and Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen marriage. All of the citizens of Munich were invited to join the festivities and celebrate the union. Although this was supposed to be a one day event King Ludwig I turned it into an annual event lasting 16 days with heavy drinking and merriment. <br />Today Oktoberfest is a huge beer festival which celebrates German culture through music, beer and the “Chicken Dance”. The festival has become so popular that people all over the world travel to Munich every year during Oktoberfest to experience the celebration in the land of its origin. But don’t worry; this does not mean you have to go over seas to experience Oktoberfest, because chances are there is one in your town, city, or state. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYGVZTuCtNEFgv5DmWynICL7mY3w7yw6ZNowwmHGiziVYVV5gRHVOD_j-XqdK81xwyDOOj-_xVEANzJIaBe8LNprUczpS87Nk11z6qMBIGYLL-nxnmONJ1N-1Tlcz8GEkJBNN6WbWsEVY/s1600/112.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYGVZTuCtNEFgv5DmWynICL7mY3w7yw6ZNowwmHGiziVYVV5gRHVOD_j-XqdK81xwyDOOj-_xVEANzJIaBe8LNprUczpS87Nk11z6qMBIGYLL-nxnmONJ1N-1Tlcz8GEkJBNN6WbWsEVY/s320/112.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527587606906444514" /></a><br /><br />Here in California we have a few locations that hold an annual Oktoberfest but Alpine Village is home of the largest Oktoberfest celebration in Southern California. I have been going to Alpine Village for about six years now and although it has changed considerably in the last two, it still remains “The Event” I look forward to every September. <br />It runs from the second weekend in September until the weekend right before Halloween in October. I started going when I was 18 (using a fake Id or sob story of how I lost my Id) and I was hooked. The first year I went it was a small venue with maybe 200 people, mostly older and nerdy, but now it is huge boasting a 32,000 square foot tent with close to a thousand, young and trendy people in attendance a night. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt2DWFEEWWsmEM3H3tN21b3kOdSP1hpqO-9bjJ3iOtgGrhyphenhyphen_5bUs0yd8TQqm-PzEmZsdtb3s0owzlWlzSVzjysboCeBLqNGeVgsTAjxf49HJab9Ds9fXSSQATcYO9xKjA3bQnla0v-FWo/s1600/1.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 212px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt2DWFEEWWsmEM3H3tN21b3kOdSP1hpqO-9bjJ3iOtgGrhyphenhyphen_5bUs0yd8TQqm-PzEmZsdtb3s0owzlWlzSVzjysboCeBLqNGeVgsTAjxf49HJab9Ds9fXSSQATcYO9xKjA3bQnla0v-FWo/s320/1.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527587996122068434" /></a><br /><br />What to expect:<br />Basically this is a German Beer festival; expect to drink a lot of German beer. They have a few to choose from but the most popular are the Weiss(light) and the Dunkel(dark) beer. Traditional Bavarian fun is brought to you by an Oom Pah Pah big band, flown in direct from Germany. The food used to be slightly more traditional when I first started going, you can still get Wurst’s and sauerkraut if you like, but the Giant pretzel reigns supreme amongst all the other German fare year after year. What I noticed this last time was that they have more carnival food to offer; popcorn, nachos etc., all food is reasonably priced. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTueya7o1U3iJm5AB0L6yvtCLFtXpLbr5tIde_D3OK-Q-6PXnwtAejmtFVRUI2LHSMynmeMFemx6C10QuUSeNptnXE3_eCbxC9A6VtDDrYHG9Nc-LmAXp7TbPBTaJwVNW_nLJXJTUWGSM/s1600/untitled.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 151px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTueya7o1U3iJm5AB0L6yvtCLFtXpLbr5tIde_D3OK-Q-6PXnwtAejmtFVRUI2LHSMynmeMFemx6C10QuUSeNptnXE3_eCbxC9A6VtDDrYHG9Nc-LmAXp7TbPBTaJwVNW_nLJXJTUWGSM/s200/untitled.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527590046838958034" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGrvjiCtshYs4pMQhRBGFhpWKJJY0ulfcdUdnEqvzdJJXiajfV6jF2fcAxA5IVVTA9vgOj50WT5ZmI6FZAGrGVzG0jC0WO03zJj08eJYJcQxYUdF40t5w9nL_UgQTWdHV21L8x_mfg3s0/s1600/60260_450865554280_591649280_4782989_148135_n.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGrvjiCtshYs4pMQhRBGFhpWKJJY0ulfcdUdnEqvzdJJXiajfV6jF2fcAxA5IVVTA9vgOj50WT5ZmI6FZAGrGVzG0jC0WO03zJj08eJYJcQxYUdF40t5w9nL_UgQTWdHV21L8x_mfg3s0/s200/60260_450865554280_591649280_4782989_148135_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527591128980479506" /></a><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The cost of tickets is $10.00 to get in to the tent. You can get them online at https://activ.admitoneproducts.com/reserve/advance.php?event_id=920610&instance=5 or buy them at the door! In previous years buying tickets online would have seemed ridiculous because not too many people went to Oktoberfest but today I would highly recommend going early and purchasing tickets online. <br />The dress code is casual but over the years wearing Lederhosen- German overalls for men and Dirndl’s- Beer maiden outfits for the women has become very popular. <br />This event starts at 6pm and goes until 1am Friday and Saturday. I recommend getting there at 7pm the latest, due to long lines and parking congestion. On Sundays it is more of a family event that goes from 1pm to 6pm. Parking is always a disaster, so I recommend getting dropped off and picked up. Also, Cops have become very interested in this event and pull people over left and right. Be careful. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3nRDZaQmsVgcHqktoowz6E2yrXWGDBCaMclTEum3MPjWY6eCYG4UTQ_mW4THGkzpS0HcqL5j91XjiXDSRVB7t4RJDRx6DLDBOdOwvuhZ0BIqUFJsuZGah6zX3XiLAZmoHWkYBy_nu-r8/s1600/21.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3nRDZaQmsVgcHqktoowz6E2yrXWGDBCaMclTEum3MPjWY6eCYG4UTQ_mW4THGkzpS0HcqL5j91XjiXDSRVB7t4RJDRx6DLDBOdOwvuhZ0BIqUFJsuZGah6zX3XiLAZmoHWkYBy_nu-r8/s320/21.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527591894152175330" /></a><br /><br />All in all I highly recommend attending at least one Oktoberfest celebration in your life time just to experience a little bit of Bavaria and celebrate King Ludwig I and Therese.<br />Auf Weidersehen<br />Karina V.<br />(here is the link to my article on the website called Ellenwood)<br />http://www.ellenwood-ep.com/food/the-first-oktoberfest/Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-66627679512753731232010-07-12T21:19:00.000-07:002010-07-12T23:36:23.215-07:00Viva las Vegas<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZGo1BRy_mlOo4J-qKSSxi2_rak5WiJZAbqZ3iGz5twszyJ2X-uPPtPtR1Vn4TpqnSU-yPAgQt3Gp3Zkj5W0BQQhOR0YHn6u6wgHLhjwwqMiPbTnGs3UGS8vL3rbgnUYoWMG2ahJRBLUo/s1600/las-vegas-strip.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 262px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZGo1BRy_mlOo4J-qKSSxi2_rak5WiJZAbqZ3iGz5twszyJ2X-uPPtPtR1Vn4TpqnSU-yPAgQt3Gp3Zkj5W0BQQhOR0YHn6u6wgHLhjwwqMiPbTnGs3UGS8vL3rbgnUYoWMG2ahJRBLUo/s320/las-vegas-strip.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493267239237937890" /></a><br />Seems like these days the only thing that excites me is VEGAS!!!! <br />God I love that blistering city. Headed back this weekend and I am excited beyond words… I just want it to be Thursday already.<br /><br />This trip is already amazing and it hasn’t even started… we have a 2 bedroom suite at a 5 star hotel, all sorts of perks and great Pool party weather! What more could I ask for….. Free bottle service please!!!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuHWH0Sn7lSS04vkvzfYY1DUq4nI7VjFvzHUeyYrlMTr6Kewr6fdKPaROS63omDUEcvoUW7ftijko9Irmo2_UwqZpvUKqeuII_CrFm5-iFHBrNLB112vpM60r3ZJ9cPWfYPo3FBinAWqg/s1600/15730_395920929280_591649280_3497038_2718490_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuHWH0Sn7lSS04vkvzfYY1DUq4nI7VjFvzHUeyYrlMTr6Kewr6fdKPaROS63omDUEcvoUW7ftijko9Irmo2_UwqZpvUKqeuII_CrFm5-iFHBrNLB112vpM60r3ZJ9cPWfYPo3FBinAWqg/s320/15730_395920929280_591649280_3497038_2718490_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493268336307549986" /></a>(thats me in the white posing)<br />This will be the first time I go with this particular group of girls. Fresh Meat ;p One of these girls is my Sister who will be flying in to Vegas from Washington. This whole trip was orchestrated on a whim by my sister and I. She needed a Vaca and I wanted to visit my beloved city. And then came Gabby, a friend who I lovingly refer to as Button, and soon after Karla (whom is Crazier than me … If that’s even possible), Tessa and friends. <br />And We became a posse!<br />All these girls have never experienced Sin city with me. <br />And when they do they will have seen it all!!!!!<br /><br />The city that never sleeps is the only place where I can truly feel like myself and excuse all my crazy antics and barbaric behaviors. This is why it holds a special place in my heart. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGJ3l7wZjVBBC2g83fC9TUz-1SkeVHZANBHHrUrgm6rTdHA_zzhoOS5vZKovOxQix6jHxGRPZ2_IC10LevFktNlJMRfkSI-wLzicOJiGBi2z07Vd-nw41puyvA6RA4Cg-m58FQx4e6M6g/s1600/untitled.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGJ3l7wZjVBBC2g83fC9TUz-1SkeVHZANBHHrUrgm6rTdHA_zzhoOS5vZKovOxQix6jHxGRPZ2_IC10LevFktNlJMRfkSI-wLzicOJiGBi2z07Vd-nw41puyvA6RA4Cg-m58FQx4e6M6g/s320/untitled.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493275316854061634" /></a><br />I usually give a “Please understand…” speech in which I explain that all bets are off as soon as I cross state line. “I am not your best friend in Vegas; don’t expect me to wait around for you; don’t think I won’t leave you for a cute man; never assume I have had ‘too much’; Just know that I have no inhibitions, etc.” No charades, No shame, no apologies. When I go there I am there to relax (in my own way) and anyone holding me back is a nuisance. soooo when I go I select the right people for the trip (hot girls who like to party). Sometimes I refuse a trip just because of the people. I try to go as often as I can for as long as I can, because I’m myself in Las Vegas, but the wrong people can ruin any trip. <br /><br /><br />So Off I go to one of the biggest party cities in hopes of having an even greater adventure than my last (which was a blast); and to make more memories and continue my tour of debauchery.<br /><br />Viva Las Vegas!!!!<br /><br />“Vegas is everything that’s right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They’ve effectively legalized everything there.”<br />- Drew Carey <img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 255px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1PYJRO0WS56IDMXlO7CV0wj5ylz-Nxw3eeRIJ7Stc350j4U7TXvNGIJmGYRck-16nGXLHWtNUAcQiBM1PJdQAzXEhdPlgIaFAfJ3i6RGH5TKix1hQBNpjzqj1PnMDoD71vf5jj2GxE5A/s320/LasVegasSign.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493268717639248754" />Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-57519805148942690912010-05-31T15:19:00.000-07:002010-05-31T15:28:15.521-07:00Giving up, Moving on.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5VPKGlxmFpeVbZeffliuoZcVSY3MEYwsn3wtfEp6qznonDbYSVrf7gEJUZ5vZxsPnZ72L-azTx-jyx0VMnmek1N6wbKTzhChY6O8LlSebgqSXgqiOl_Naqu6ObwX1KZIB1RKjOPRgtA/s1600/untitled.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477564481250661522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 80px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5VPKGlxmFpeVbZeffliuoZcVSY3MEYwsn3wtfEp6qznonDbYSVrf7gEJUZ5vZxsPnZ72L-azTx-jyx0VMnmek1N6wbKTzhChY6O8LlSebgqSXgqiOl_Naqu6ObwX1KZIB1RKjOPRgtA/s320/untitled.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I have come to realize that I only write on my blog when things are not going so well. I guess this is how I express myself; but I hate it because people who don’t know me and read this blog will probably think I hate my life and everything about it. This is not true. It just so happens that I get into writing moods when I’m feeling down.<br />My blog is also very morbid. This is just a big part of me. I would never try to kill myself on purpose, but I do think about death a lot and relate it to other aspects of my life.<br />That said, I come to the reason why I’m writing right now...<br /><br />I’m hung-over, tired, and I’m working on Memorial Day. I agreed to work so that was my fault. I wasn’t scheduled, I volunteered. BIG MISTAKE! So, I’m writing to make the time go by. I’m also very pensive, because of changes going on in my life. Changes that are pretty much out of my hands, and as frustrating as that may be I know they are changes for the better. I have become less and less tolerant of people and their bullshit and frankly I’m done with any relationship remotely difficult. If it’s too hard its not gonna happen! I have also learned that any commitment is too much commitment for me. The only thing I am committed to is my snake Willie, my job, and my Tattoos!<br /><br />“I’m too young to love; I’m too old to cry!” –Crazy antics</div>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-55952100351713718732010-05-17T02:27:00.000-07:002010-05-17T03:01:53.322-07:00Love and Death<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis1a2yDRzFrcjBY6Jpkn5qTwzE4TsAfkImgqxwTlL_cmpHiVvgZ03xvEi_nGjP2kKKRme1qDxVydEoUhQJIsRONWj3gliMcYvhtkRtkBTZaeUOaAfl0Ec_sw8bDpXeDcShtviaSD66JX8/s1600/Love-Hurts.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472176483003849106" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis1a2yDRzFrcjBY6Jpkn5qTwzE4TsAfkImgqxwTlL_cmpHiVvgZ03xvEi_nGjP2kKKRme1qDxVydEoUhQJIsRONWj3gliMcYvhtkRtkBTZaeUOaAfl0Ec_sw8bDpXeDcShtviaSD66JX8/s320/Love-Hurts.jpg" /></a><br />Why do we all long, Long to be loved?<br />When love is not life<br />and life is not love.<br /><br />It brings Death to freedom and decision<br />Death to happiness and forgiveness<br />Death to maturity and security<br />Death to humility and my tranquility<br /><br />Looking in the eyes of fate.<br />A fate which lies and puts us at the mercy<br />of another being who now holds the key<br />to an exposed broken possession which used to be<br />we hold on to love like it's the only real thing<br />we do not see the reality of its fatality<br /><br /><br />Death to hope but you still have faith<br />Death to sex now its all a game<br />Death to friendship more deception<br />Death to beauty only questions<br />Death to sanity just dementia<br />Death to emotion<br />Now only depression<br /><br />Love is a synonym to death.<br />Love is a mental train wreck<br />Love is a risk<br />Not many should take<br />Love ruins lives<br />You seek good advice<br />But you do not see, your eyes are blind<br />Love and death go hand in hand<br />go hand in hand hand in hand<br /><br /><br />Death to Passion just corruption<br />Death to thought now memory loss.<br />Death to truth only lies<br />Death to laughter that's my demise<br />Death to pleasure only pressure.<br />Death to dreams you get no prize<br />Say goodbye goodbye goodbye<br /><br />Love is death, Love and death<br /><br />-Karina V.Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-24237964388250411742010-05-05T23:44:00.000-07:002010-05-09T17:09:23.089-07:00BlueSo today is my birthday. Cinco de Mayo. I was born at 10:30am on May 5th 23 years ago. And every year for the past 15 or so years I have the birthday blues on my birthday... <br />So im sitting here in front of my computer counting down the minutes until this wrethced day is over.<br /><br />Cant wait for the weekend!!!Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-3743000193855755732010-04-30T02:08:00.001-07:002010-04-30T02:08:38.855-07:00He was sprawled out like Jesus . . .Turning up Stylo, one of the songs off the new Gorillaz CD, I slowly inched closer to the accident. I figured it was just another LA pile up. There was one police car a firetruck that had just arrived and a towtruck. As three lanes of cars and trucks tried to merge into My lane I glanced over toward the accident and saw an officer standing near his patrol car looking at the ground beneath him. As My eyes followed his line of sight I finally saw what he was looking at.
<br>He was sprawled out like Jesus on the Eastbound 10 freeway. He looked about 30 and was wearing a blue plaid shirt jeans and boots. Blood pooling near the top of his still helmeted head like a halo. There was brain matter laying in his blood in plain sight. His bike was 25 feet away mangled and facing the opposite direction of traffic.
<br>As I passed the last patrol car traffic cleared and everyone began to increase their speed. I sped off with thousands of thoughts going through My mind. What was going to happen when his family got the news? I wondered what his last thoughts were. Where had he come from and where was he going? He never expected THaT to be his last ride and that his life would end on the pavement of the 10 freeway.
<br>The whole ride home I thought about him and life just became more pointless in My mind. All his plans and dreams and years he worked Pointless! Seeing death that close just reminded me about how we don't have any control over our lives! It made me want to die.
<br>I wonder if ill dream about him tonight?!
<br>
<br>R.I.P motorcycle man
<br> ????- April 2010
<br>Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryCrazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-62898266404224522512010-04-27T13:58:00.000-07:002010-04-27T14:15:10.075-07:00Prisoner<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbWRiSWcAmBtxuNq2bT7kn08cImsI7sQF3suWhvaoswQroug45duTyTtAy8O99FOdV_jdZkUf-5XaGk_VpI46LVpgwKduLYMBtMesfdhbFhzvRLO6_53yC1qDXx-4roSn13S-OhQ6jW0/s1600/freedom.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 296px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5464926669382994914" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbWRiSWcAmBtxuNq2bT7kn08cImsI7sQF3suWhvaoswQroug45duTyTtAy8O99FOdV_jdZkUf-5XaGk_VpI46LVpgwKduLYMBtMesfdhbFhzvRLO6_53yC1qDXx-4roSn13S-OhQ6jW0/s400/freedom.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div align="center">Freedom: the absence of constraint in choice or action.<br /><br />Freedom has been a recurring theme in my writing.<br />I have in numerous occasions described how I have so much freedom and do what I want without anyone else interfering.<br />In a sense this is true but in the bigger scheme of things I am a prisoner.<br /><br />A prisoner of what you may ask. Simply put a prisoner of my own lies.<br /><br />Recently I have been on a blog binge, reading and writing.<br />And I have come across a group of blogs, I call it a group because it seems that all the people writing these blogs are friends and they each include writings about the other.<br />Well these girls have unknowingly opened my eyes to what freedom is. They write these beautiful blogs about their personal lives and do not hesitate on any aspect of their daily lives. From relationships to sex, their parents, Alcohol, death, abandonment, drug abuse and fears they do not hold back.<br />It is an open and honest account of what they see and do on a, sometimes, daily basis.<br />It is truly inspiring.<br /><br />I feel as if I could never be that free. I could never go into that much detail of my life.<br /><br />The reason being, I have lied about so many aspects of my life to so many different people that to write or tell “One” truth would be chaos.<br />My parents know one reality, my family another, and my friends, different ones know different stories. To an outsider reading this now you may think why lie so much? Why hide?<br /><br />I thought I knew the answer.<br />I would tell myself it was to protect those people who love me from knowing the painful truth.<br />God, I even lied to myself.<br />What a fool!<br />I now know it was, and is, to protect myself from disappointment, ridicule, sympathy or disgust.<br /><br /><br />Freedom: the ability to decide what you will and will not do, or say, without control, interference, or regulation.<br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div align="center">I have allowed people to decide for me.<br />I have let them decide what is right and what I should and should not be admitting to, because I thought, or think, it is what they want to hear.<br />By lying to them they have control over me.<br />The webs of lies control my life.<br />Control My freedom.<br /><br />I am bound to these lies now. And to say the truth would be the end of ME.<br />But I wish I could be like these girls telling all my horrific tales and all my experiences. I would then and only then be Free.<br /><br />I guess the truth does set you free! </div><br /><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><br /><div align="center">I’m not ready for my freedom! </div><br /><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><br /><div align="center">“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive”</div><br /><div align="center">-Sir Walter Scott</div></div>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-58716385960900856642010-04-24T22:51:00.000-07:002010-04-24T23:04:03.930-07:00Indecisive<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7L4sfwY-iM3QQAdbZbnTohv6UTpzoG9A_sywuooMXhbcmKaP1DxBlAYUoWxiUSHql0fXA9xud-Sva7T93XIj1tM7mFw4872OYc8RHpz9XHmnncdEAP2cxAa_0dQwGY2sfhJTfODUY6Q/s1600/the+end.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 258px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463950255850892002" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7L4sfwY-iM3QQAdbZbnTohv6UTpzoG9A_sywuooMXhbcmKaP1DxBlAYUoWxiUSHql0fXA9xud-Sva7T93XIj1tM7mFw4872OYc8RHpz9XHmnncdEAP2cxAa_0dQwGY2sfhJTfODUY6Q/s400/the+end.jpg" /></a><br /><div align="center">Death.<br />I think about it a lot.<br />I think about what it would be like to die. The ways I could go; and how the people around me would react. Many people are afraid to die. They fear the unknown. To me the unknown is a sanctuary.<br /><br />Life.<br />Wretched, mystifying, and intoxicating all at the same time.<br />Wretched because of the pain and suffering. Mystifying because of the harmony between beauty and destruction. Intoxicating because once you experience it you are captivated.<br /><br />Death.<br />I think about my heart stopping. Unconsciousness. Pain. Fear?<br />I imagine driving off a cliff at hundreds of miles per hour. Adrenaline pumping. Fear?<br />I see my Family troubled; my friends distraught. Confusion. Anger. Fear?<br /><br />Life.<br />The beauty of friendship. The Warmth of love. The trials and Tribulation from up above.<br />Money and power. The truth about love. Men and women seeking acceptance. Violence and drugs.<br />The search for meaning. Religion and hate. Disease, redemption, Sex and jail bait.<br /><br />Death.<br />Deliverance. The end. Relief. Sanctuary<br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">Life, The Dark Comedy. Death, The Happy Ending" -Crazy Antics</div><br /><div align="center"></div>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-34254974534514545352010-04-20T14:44:00.000-07:002010-04-20T15:13:14.916-07:00Liars and Lovers by Karina Villalta<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyquvcM8bSDOdESG4QBFavUETL2B3bxBctetwH2FijhdHnJzrOvsbil2zC14Fvy4gXW-5YgGkkK_64CWgKW_lAT2vS9rwMmYzSyxpniX1GRE_TS4ZWQQJHiPItMC466YmEzentHMvV25I/s1600/mohawk1.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 266px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462343561767905106" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyquvcM8bSDOdESG4QBFavUETL2B3bxBctetwH2FijhdHnJzrOvsbil2zC14Fvy4gXW-5YgGkkK_64CWgKW_lAT2vS9rwMmYzSyxpniX1GRE_TS4ZWQQJHiPItMC466YmEzentHMvV25I/s400/mohawk1.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div></div><div>For men that walk amongst us<br />Who never show their face<br />Who think they are a victim<br />Of those who like to prey<br />For them the world moves at a slower rate.<br />She will never give them luck.<br />For they were dead before they bled<br />With their simple minds all fucked.<br /><br />I am the liar and the lover<br />The mover and the shaker.<br />And all of those around me<br />The losers and the beggars<br />Can see that I am different<br />I move the world around me.<br />To make my dreams reality<br />Manipulating Anything and Everything<br />I lie to win and love to take<br />I make a move and then they shake </div><br /><div></div><div>They look defeated and they are.<br />All they carry are their scars.<br />Of dreams all broken and<br />money now a figment of their imagination<br />becoming a symbol of ones intoxication.<br />They spend their nights wondering why<br />and all they seem to come up with is to deny<br />That they lost the battle and I won<br />but The war is not over its only just begun.<br /><br />I move to achieve and shake to confuse. The Weak Little minds<br />of The boys who choose<br />the women like me<br />they loose and loose.<br />Some learn their lesson But some never do. </div>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-43711336738567262042010-04-17T03:38:00.000-07:002010-04-17T03:47:36.190-07:00Torn<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigo6-jjAxrWSuPlLO3aSFo7i9lf8bHyNNp9vMSWtYB35dS9mLC5LKIhNhsjDUzwTd_elTcbR3pa4uDUr1X5K1ze071FLND9Qgi2GmztfmUSnjj0kqh5qLJWzzFBXqDyK8NOcSNYpDsAAo/s1600/soul.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 232px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 163px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461055526307134290" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigo6-jjAxrWSuPlLO3aSFo7i9lf8bHyNNp9vMSWtYB35dS9mLC5LKIhNhsjDUzwTd_elTcbR3pa4uDUr1X5K1ze071FLND9Qgi2GmztfmUSnjj0kqh5qLJWzzFBXqDyK8NOcSNYpDsAAo/s320/soul.jpg" /></a><br /><div align="center">Music is a big part of my life.<br />When I was a kid my sister and I grew up with Latin rhythms and beats because it was what our parents listened to. As we got older and discovered the wonder that is a boom box we became intoxicated by the sounds the box spewed out at us. I remember listening to everything and anything. Missy Elliot, Rolling stones, Donna summers, Nirvana, Prince, Jazz, Madonna, Elvis, Country, Folk, Pop…<br />We heard it all. We wanted to know all the words and melodies. My sister and I used to tape the songs off the radio so we could dissect them one at a time and learn the words (this was before we had internet lyrics and before computers were in every household). I still remember some of those old songs from playing them over and over again. As we both grew up she moved away to Washington. We went our separate ways; musically as well. She stuck to hip hop and rap and I moved on to bigger and better things… the glory that is ROCK AND ROLL. Classic rock, alternative rock, Punk rock, Rockabilly …. I can go on and on. Not forgetting my roots in music I continued to enjoy some of the artist my sister and I listened to but mostly I wanted to hear New music. Music that was new to Me. I remember being in high school and seeing a bunch of my friends wearing Sex pistols t-shirts, Floggin Molly patches on their sweaters, and Nirvana buttons on their backpacks and envying them for their vast knowledge of music. Many of my classmates had a sibling who had introduced them to these musicians and that is how they knew about them, but I had no one teaching me the “ropes”. Little by little I would ask questions and do a bit of research about the latest band. Listening to new radio stations like KROQ and JACKFM helped introduce me to new and old artists as well. I began to follow bands like The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction. I had finally paved my musical road and began to know what I liked and what I didn’t. I realized early on that lyrics were important to me. I did not know why at the time but I knew that if I did not know what the band was saying I did not like it nor did I want to listen. As I grew older and discovered my passion for writing I realized why lyrics were so important. I love words. I love expression. I love music. I realized whoever wrote the song I am hearing on the radio at one point or another felt the need to express how they were feeling through writing. I was getting a glimpse inside the soul of another person.<br />Beautiful.<br />Music is Beautiful.<br />So I decided to take a shot at it and back in August of 2008 I began to write Lyrics (wish I could write music as well but the only instrument I know how to play are the drums). All of my music is so personal all derived from emotions and life situations. I have written over 15 songs in the past year and a half but I have always been timid about sharing my lyrics. I have always wanted someone to come in and make music to my beautiful lyrics, but the few I have worked with always want to go in another direction with them. So I have decided that If I cannot make music out of them then I can at least share them with you guys. I want you to realize this is really hard for me and I am torn about this but I feel it is time to set them free, so keep an eye out for future posts with my babies attached.<br /><br />I hope this does not backfire.<br /><br /><br />“Music is a free ride into my soul” – Crazy antics </div>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-85626842889007205652010-04-15T16:57:00.000-07:002010-04-15T17:21:01.672-07:00I Can Do It .... ; }<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3EbBzfMzJBMmQZashyphenhyphenMA2-NwJOmRnGlxDDUqaK-3IJewwELMthwCNCFVDBCO-KXIa22ZvVXfRcuy1RKgqpG-gJythMfm90xOCTUcna2Gf6qXRrO8UDivDgjwn5t3lhkLj6A7L8PsR9PE/s1600/15730_395923254280_591649280_3497130_7040329_n.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 282px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5460523490138520738" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3EbBzfMzJBMmQZashyphenhyphenMA2-NwJOmRnGlxDDUqaK-3IJewwELMthwCNCFVDBCO-KXIa22ZvVXfRcuy1RKgqpG-gJythMfm90xOCTUcna2Gf6qXRrO8UDivDgjwn5t3lhkLj6A7L8PsR9PE/s320/15730_395923254280_591649280_3497130_7040329_n.jpg" /></a><br /><div align="center">Hmmm it has been a while since I sat in front of a computer and wrote anything. Lately it has been all about going on Facebook or MySpace. Well I felt it was time ….. </div><br /><br /><div align="center">The last time I wrote you found me on the edge of a new year with another decade behind me. Today I come with a couple months having passed, and my life moving in the direction I want again. Finally. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><br />Let me bring you up to date with what has been going on in my life. Towards the end of last year I went to Europe, became involved with someone, lost my job, went to Vegas a few times, and Partied a lot; all within a four month period. The new year began, I went to Mexico, went to Washington to visit my sister, I got a new tattoo, my boyfriend broke up with me, my snake Lola passed away, I partied a lot, started dating again, went to Vegas, and got a job working at a hospital; all within a four month period. It was an interesting eight months. Wouldn’t you say?</div><br /><br /><div align="center">So details? Right!....</div><br /><div align="center">Before I left for Europe I was seeing a guy (let’s call him Eddy). While being with Eddy I started liking another guy (John), who had liked me for a while. I then left to Central Europe, had an amazing time, and came back to the states. Upon arrival and because of a strange chain of events I end up with Billy who is John’s friend. A few weeks after we start dating I lose my job, a job I hated but nonetheless a source of income. I then went to Vegas with some girlfriends, and had an amazing time. Thanksgiving rolls around I meet Billy’s family, he hangs out with mine. I then go to Vegas for a second time in December, sans Billy, and have an amazing time. All of this with a lot of partying, drinking, and a few tense encounters with John mixed in between. Are you keeping up? Good Haha. When the new year began I went to Mexico and shortly after to Washington to visit my sister and beautiful niece. While in Washington I got a new tattoo paid for by my sister as a Christmas present. Two days before my return to L.A. Billy calls me to tell me we are breaking up due to my excessive partying, drinking, racism and lack of taking any job and being too picky with my job selection. (*To which I say- he was right about the partying. COME ON!!!? To the racism, and thank God I was picky about jobs cause had I not held out for this job that I WANTED I would be working anywhere doing anything for minimum wage. It pays to hold out …you can quote me on that! Lol) I come home the day after and find my poor snake Lola passed away. I cry and bury her. I then start partying with my newly single status and freedom. I then went on a few dates one of which was a movie director who had been insistent on taking me out for over a year, he is hot but totally arrogant. I then go to Vegas for Rockabilly weekend, and have the best time of my life! Upon my return I get the good news that the job I had interviewed for a month and a half ago is mine!!!</div><br />Ahhh I love my Life It is far more detailed and interesting than this but you get the just of it.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center">At times my life may seem a little erratic but it is nothing I cannot handle. I love everything about my life. Yeah I have tough times, but who does not? Honestly though, I feel as if the good outnumber the bad 1000:1 and I am not really a “glass half full” kind of girl. I am always pessimistic about everything; that way I can never be disappointed. Somehow my life, so far, has been an amazing adventure of epic proportions. Call it chance or call it my choices, it does not matter, all I know is I can NOT say that I regret not doing something. I have done, seen, experienced, touched, smelled, and heard everything that I have wanted to at this point in my life. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><br />Those who know me well know that I am the type of person who does not worry about regretting things that I have done; I am a person who worries about regretting the things I do not do. This is mainly why I live my life the way I do. This is why I party how I do. This is why I date the most random people. This is why I travel. This is why I have Tattoos. This is why I sell my high heels off my feet to an elderly man on the street. You get the picture?! Good! I mean don’t get me wrong there are soooo many things that I regret in my life and wish I could change, but the bigger picture still remains in my mind, what if I had not…... </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><br />My parents have a different view of my life. My mom wants me to give up my freedom, be miserable, and hate my life … yeah you guessed it she wants me to get married. My father wants me to give up my freedom, calm down, and graduate already. He makes it seem like I am wasting my life away, not doing anything productive. My mother sees my life in a lighter light. She says, “It is just a phase! Something every person has to go through”. Although she may be right I don’t see the End of this so called “phase” any time soon. I am just curious to know what being married or having a document saying I have a Bachelors in science can teach me about the world. The things that I have learned in my life can never be taught in a classroom.Either way how does being married and having a degree measure my success?</div><br /><div align="center">Hmm I didn’t know that getting to know who you are as a person and what you like and dislike is a waste of time. How about going to school full time while working full time? What about that? Guess I should sign up to be a missionary in India to make my life “meaningful”. Ugh!! Ok I’m ranting but it is so frustrating to hear that you are so limited by what a “successful” life is. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">Let’s state the facts:</div><br /><div align="center">1. I am 22 (23 on May 5th) </div><br /><div align="center">2. I have no children (or major responsibilities)</div><br /><div align="center">3. I live on my own (and have since I was 18)</div><br /><div align="center">4. I am not a drug addict or an Alcoholic (although some would dispute the alcoholism lol)</div><br /><div align="center">5. I have never been arrested (nor had any trouble with the law. THANK GOD) </div><br /><div align="center">6. I am still attempting to finish school ( I have not given up)</div><br /><div align="center">7. I work and have been since I was 15 (Just got a job working at City of Hope cancer center. You can congratulate me later!! Lol)</div><br /><div align="center">8. I have traveled to various parts of the world (something many people my age don’t get to do) </div><br /><br /><div align="center">So you tell me… for my age have I led a successful life?Compare it to your life. Now compare it to the majority of other Americans. I think I have done a damn good job!!!!!Get married!!! For WHAT? </div><br /><br /><div align="center">About two months ago, back in February, I went to visit my sister in Washington State. She wanted me to go celebrate her daughters first birthday (my niece Aryleena, The cutest baby in the world. Seriously.) One of the days she took me to visit a friend of hers named Rita, (I changed her name for her protection lol) well Rita is married to this man whom she has children with, and during the visit she is trying to pawn him off on me! She can’t stand the man. Why the FUCK did you marry him then? Basically every other young person I have ever talked to about getting married tell me NOT to do it….Well no shit you are young you don’t even know who you are or what you like! I on the other hand have enjoyed my youth. I have lived my life to its fullest potential and I have no regrets of what I “could have” done. Even my sister who is 11 months older than me has told me she lives vicariously through me. She wishes she had done the things I have but she got married young and had a baby young. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">With that said I would like to conclude with this…..I am NOT throwing my life away I am living my life the way I want to live; experiencing everything that it has to offer. I am continuing my education because I do believe in bettering my life and having a future but for God’s sake people I am only 23!!!!!! Give me a God damn break! </div><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">*I honestly don’t have anything against Billy he is actually a really nice guy and I believe he did what he needed to do out of his best interest but he was warned about me before asking me to be his girl and he still did, only to find out he couldn’t handle it.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Seriously the next time you are into a chick and Her friends are warning you… Run away baby….</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Also, don’t break up with her when she is thousands of miles away in another state. Be a man. After all you are 30.</span>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-71431873366027241262010-01-14T02:30:00.000-08:002010-01-14T02:46:28.919-08:00Decade of life lessons...Kari style....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbCMSWFSrWkW_gytFg9EmAL3Avh-duydKCHFbSqd6kcHMeD5-P7Tv9WS3uJmxTMNhXGCr_sYex2PHh3yYM-wVB8dZAzd69Cepxa3FsUwya39EU8vyT0vrn8SSYZCjpSIgXkaBaznR6u4k/s1600-h/l_ab302f4b39da418bbacc14006805a3e0.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 170px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426542742368870082" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbCMSWFSrWkW_gytFg9EmAL3Avh-duydKCHFbSqd6kcHMeD5-P7Tv9WS3uJmxTMNhXGCr_sYex2PHh3yYM-wVB8dZAzd69Cepxa3FsUwya39EU8vyT0vrn8SSYZCjpSIgXkaBaznR6u4k/s320/l_ab302f4b39da418bbacc14006805a3e0.jpg" /></a><br /><div align="center">"Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most peopleoverestimate what they can accomplish in a year - and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade!” </div><br /><div align="center">-Anthony Robbins</div><br /><div align="center"><br />When this past decade began I was only 13 yrs old. I lived at home with my parents and was about to finish my last year of Junior high. I was Naive and quiet and extremely shy. How the years have gone by. I had different goals, friends, and a different attitude. Being young had its perks…. Ignorance is blisssss</div><br /><div align="center"><br />These past Ten years have changed my goals from long-term to short-term; people have come and gone in my life; and my attitude now has a self-preservation overtone. Here is what I’ve captured from my decade of experiences.<br /></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">DREAMS: I remember as a little girl my teachers always saying that life was not fair when someone would irately proclaim “That’s not Fair!” Well sad to say, this is the theme of our lives from that point on. I realized that at times your dreams have to be deferred for this, that , or the other. I made horrible decisions and I don’t stand by them. I should have finished what I started. It’s never too late to realize your mistakes and make improvements to better the future.<br /></div><br /><div align="center">FRIENDS: There were people in these past years that came into my life at a time when I needed it and as quickly as they came they were gone; but I never got to thank them (Slightly evil Sarcastic undertone lol) . People will always think of themselves first; even those who claim they love you. Skanks. Some people, without motive, will murder you. A Liar is a Liar is a Liar. Don’t take advantage of your friends or take them for granted; I learned that the hard way. All is forgiven. You are forgotten.<br /></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">ATTITUDE/ SELF: I learned a lot about people and human nature thus making me more cynical about what our humanity has become. I saw people and their intentions to be destructive to each other, myself included. I understood that sometimes your attitude is a badge you wear displaying all the pain you have endured. I learned that people will step all over you to get whatever it is they are after. Many hurt me, and I hurt many. They took advantage, I did too. I wish I would have never said NEVER!<br /></div><br /><div align="center">Let’s just say it was a decade of learning. I will move forward to bigger and better things and leave behind all the trinkets I have collected this decade. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">Cheers to new beginnings and adieu to old scars.<br />-Crazy Antics</div>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-72866767781630814212009-07-09T10:27:00.001-07:002009-07-09T10:36:15.015-07:00Crossroads<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2OmIs_zcKD4K66shDx8bcoD3U9p7SrWlR1w-y2JicFICReRsGkpaCBLMT6efOISKtK4DlpKGzqnxC3bjLajDeCH72FLFg3b4n6E1ovpu_8rxvniwtrahfiSCwjDsb7w1mG-LKncr19bw/s1600-h/crossroads.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356514047748003538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 241px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2OmIs_zcKD4K66shDx8bcoD3U9p7SrWlR1w-y2JicFICReRsGkpaCBLMT6efOISKtK4DlpKGzqnxC3bjLajDeCH72FLFg3b4n6E1ovpu_8rxvniwtrahfiSCwjDsb7w1mG-LKncr19bw/s320/crossroads.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center">I have come to a fork in the road…<br /><br />My whole life I have been lead to believe I was put here on earth to do great things. Although that may be true I have nothing to show for it. When I was younger I had hopes of becoming a doctor (Pediatrician) and leading groups of other great doctors through remote places on earth in the summer helping children in need who could not afford medical treatment. Although a great story it was never likely. First I really don’t like kids and second I hated working in a hospital. But my parents always liked the idea. When I graduated high school I went straight into a private 4 year university where I finished half my GE and Half my major and then got kicked out. Currently I am going to school to finish my AA so that I could then finish my BS in Biology all the while working a full time job. All my friends from said 4 year University have recently graduated and moved on to better things and I am….well I am working a Stupid F*cking Job with stupid mother F*cking people where I am always subjected to bullshit getting well underpaid all the while going to school at night and barely getting by. (Sorry I got a little carried away) deep breath. So let’s just say I am currently not so happy with my situation. The only thing that gets me by is going out. I could also say this is the thing dragging me further down into my pit of despair (ok I know a little morbid but hey….that’s life).<br />Anywho….I have always been a person who does Extremes. I am either Extremely happy or Extremely pissed, Extremely focused or Extremely out of it, I either like you or I don’t….you get the picture. With me there are no in-betweens (a character flaw I have from my father he is always Hot or Cold no Luke warm setting) thus making my going out hard to do at a minimal. So I rather go out and be F*cking crazy or not go out at all. You see my dilemma…..<br />So like I said I am at a Crossroads where the adult me needs to take control of my life and the Party girl is fighting for the reigns. So far Party Girl has been winning. She makes my mediocre life bearable and introduces me to new people and new things and at times makes me forget about my woes. But then the Adult me is like “your life is a f*cking circus no meaning no reason. This year is half over and although it has been a great year with many adventures and CRAZY ANTICS you have not moved up one bit towards your goals!!!” Yeah that’s what she says. She screams at me and tells me you’re a disappointment. People around me are fast to point this out too and although they are right I don’t let myself admit it, Adult me or Party girl me!<br /><br />What the HELL am I doing?<br /><br />Crossroads…a place were many roads meet; a metaphor for trying to make a hard decision.<br /><br />Yeah I’m at a crossroads. One road leads to fun, crazy nights, Men, Partying, Drinking, memories or blackouts, and chaos. The other is unclear.<br /><br />Some people tell me you are young enjoy yourself; others say you are young wasting your youth. Two Extremes.<br /><br />Extremes!!!!<br />Extreme!<br /><br />Too much to think about. A hard choice to make. For some people that choice is made for them. I.e. Having a baby, getting married, a parent dying! They have to survive and let the adult in them take control but for people like me who have a choice….F*ck </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">"Life- The Dark Comedy, Death- The Happy Ending" -"Crazy Antics"</div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-43678695108882727302009-07-06T17:21:00.000-07:002009-07-06T17:28:36.581-07:00MJ The Bedlam Continues.<div align="center">Since everyone is taking their two cents and tossing them into the Michael Jackson fountain, I guess I will too.<br /><br />First off let me just say that I was and am a fan of Michael Jackson “The Artist”, Not Michael Jackson “The person”. I’m just letting you know because some people think I am insensitive about his whole life and death. But by all means I am just being a realist ok, so calm down people.<br /><br />All his life he was manipulated and ridiculed. He had his personal demons paraded in front of America and the rest of the world; His family dysfunctional; His marriages a sham; His children Victims of a father’s obsession with eccentricities; His body fading; His Life a Basic all around spectacle. BUT why end there? In death his legacy of bedlam has continued. Stories of drug addiction, child endangerment, death wishes, secret passageways and ghosts have saturated the media and with it Michael frenzy.<br /><br />Why are people so hungry for the late breaking news about a person they only knew a fraction of? No one knew the real Michael he did a fine job of hiding, or I should say protecting his true self. People are always medaling in other peoples business; celebrity or not. Why do we care what will happen to his estates, his debt or his children (well that one I sort of understand…”Think of the children”). Well I guess its human nature to care but to flood our time in the life of a Celebrity is ridiculous by all means of the word! Why do we have to take pictures of celebrities and sell them to the highest bidder? Why do people care so much to buy those pictures for thousands of dollars and put them in magazines? And why do we the consumer purchase these magazines at $3.00 a pop? Why all the gossip and rumors and slander? It beats me. I have always been one of those people who “If It does not concern me I don’t care or need to know”, but not everyone is like me (what a shame). People feed off of information that does not pertain to them and share it with others and gossip just because they can.<br /><br />I fell sorry for him, his children and his loved ones they never had a normal life, and never will.<br /><br />For people who call themselves followers and are crying and mourning. I’m just curious to know why? I do not understand it and frankly I think it’s rather foolish (for this I am called callous and cold hearted). I do not understand how you could “Follow” a man you hardly knew; a man who did absolutely nothing for you. Maybe because I am not big on pop culture, because it is fueled by the media and people who follow trends, I do not get it so please explain!<br /><br />With all this said Good bye and Good Luck Michael for Judgment awaits.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">1958-2009</div><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355507365099728354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZXmS0FZvJrXX8UriO4SOvM5CZyOzl-kQtAju2LANCSRrGRC1ylAQx4zrzs0IjTyJI420Lj_E-LC-XmvJEh-5DJnOVs7nkt5cQo1z2XRouBgdnCxCWtjjJAbmPdeMO_rmVXLGVFrJB8Nc/s320/ivar+and+micaels+star+045.jpg" border="0" /></p><p align="center">Michael Jackson's Star on the walk of fame. (picture taken by me. Karina)</p>Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3210420639824363391.post-89489093578351114092009-07-01T14:43:00.000-07:002009-07-01T15:18:45.481-07:00Love:The wrong information!Here I go on another tangent about the misfortunes love brings… my ideas and views on the subject if you will.<br /><br />Never have I been in love... Love is a scary thought to me, but maybe like everyone else I am just misinformed as to what love is or what it should be. The media does a great job of this. (I Love a good conspiracy)<br />I use the term love loosely because I do not think that in this day and age people know what the real word means let alone how they feel on the topic.<br />Not to get biblical on you but the bible has the best definition of what love should be, in my opinion: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. <a href="http://www.allaboutgod.com/truth/1-corinthians-13.htm#4" target="_blank">1 Corinthians 13:4-13</a> The word Self-Seeking is the one that stands out to me the most because essentially what it is saying is be selfless, and to me being in love or “Loving” someone means selflessness. Something many people can not fathom! Today people in the world are taught to look out for “# 1”, in other words “fuck everyone”, “only think about yourself”, “it’s ok to be selfish.” This is why love in these times is hard to come by because you are not supposed to look out for yourself when there is real Love or when you want real Love, you are to care about the well being of the other person more than your own. Hmm such a hard concept to grasp. In my short dating lifetime I have come to learn that you should not expect much or anything from the opposite sex. A while back I was told by a man I hardly knew that he “Loved” me (not the first). I almost started to laugh in his face (also not the first). His sole purpose for using that word was to get me into bed with him (I assure you it did not work), but wow he threw that word around like it had no meaning. He used it to get self-gratification not putting my feelings into consideration. I’m curious to know if he used it because it had worked on other women or because he thought I was naïve enough to fall for it?? Hmm it was interesting not to mention a turn off and a disappointment! Love is not sex. Sex is not Love. I think we should all know this by now! Either way It was NOT Love!<br />I have never been a romantic (I thought) but I come to find out that romance is far more than pretty words, flowers, opening doors and butterflies in your stomach (shit I hate) it also means an appreciation for tenderness and an <a title="Attachment" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment"><span style="color:#000000;">attachment</span></a><span style="color:#000000;">, </span><a title="Fascination" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascination"><span style="color:#000000;">fascination</span></a><span style="color:#000000;">, or </span><a title="Enthusiasm" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enthusiasm"><span style="color:#000000;">enthusiasm</span></a> for someone. But even so, I hate to say it, I am a pessimist when it comes to love. I never think about how great it’s going to be. I think about how bad it’s going to end. Maybe I programmed myself to be ready for disappointment, because face it all men come short of our expectations when it come to love. I meet someone and automatically I can tell if it’s going to end badly or if it is going to end horribly. I remember the day I laid my eyes on Steven. He was the poster boy for “Bad boys”. He was dark, covered in tattoos, facial hair, had a dirt bike, did drugs, lived in a garage, and was a tattoo artist. He could have any girl. (I say girl instead of women because he was a 28 year old loser going nowhere fast that any normal woman his age would not tolerate his BS) I was 19 and I had never had the attention of a bad boy (I always attracted clean older men...go figure) I was excited to have been noticed by him. I have always wanted a bad boy! I’m a rebel at heart myself and a bad boy would complete me, so I thought. There was only one problem the moment he gave me his number I knew it would End Horribly. That was the first thought, well second thought I had about him lol. I was not going to lie to myself and believe that things were going to go smooth. He was a bad boy for a reason. I said to myself this is going to end horribly I don’t know when or how but I know it will. And I was right. Now why would I set myself up for disaster? Maybe I still had hope. I was younger and naïve. Hard-headed perhaps...call it what you want. All I know is that I ignored my instinct and I paid the consequence. This was one of the many times I met someone and already knew what the outcome would be. I learned my lesson but sometimes i still give in to hope.<br />I have too many friends who have been in, so called “love” and they are miserable before, during and after the ordeal. I think I am far too young and enjoy my freedom far too much to be able to say “I am going to be selfless and love this ONE person unconditionally” so why even go through the motion. Hmm what do you think about all this?<br /><br />"Love is like a carousel ride….sometimes you’re up sometimes you’re down but the ride ends before you think, you come off nauseous and worst of all feel robbed". – “Crazy Antics”Crazy Anticshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16119245872066628279noreply@blogger.com0