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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Love:The wrong information!

Here I go on another tangent about the misfortunes love brings… my ideas and views on the subject if you will.

Never have I been in love... Love is a scary thought to me, but maybe like everyone else I am just misinformed as to what love is or what it should be. The media does a great job of this. (I Love a good conspiracy)
I use the term love loosely because I do not think that in this day and age people know what the real word means let alone how they feel on the topic.
Not to get biblical on you but the bible has the best definition of what love should be, in my opinion: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 The word Self-Seeking is the one that stands out to me the most because essentially what it is saying is be selfless, and to me being in love or “Loving” someone means selflessness. Something many people can not fathom! Today people in the world are taught to look out for “# 1”, in other words “fuck everyone”, “only think about yourself”, “it’s ok to be selfish.” This is why love in these times is hard to come by because you are not supposed to look out for yourself when there is real Love or when you want real Love, you are to care about the well being of the other person more than your own. Hmm such a hard concept to grasp. In my short dating lifetime I have come to learn that you should not expect much or anything from the opposite sex. A while back I was told by a man I hardly knew that he “Loved” me (not the first). I almost started to laugh in his face (also not the first). His sole purpose for using that word was to get me into bed with him (I assure you it did not work), but wow he threw that word around like it had no meaning. He used it to get self-gratification not putting my feelings into consideration. I’m curious to know if he used it because it had worked on other women or because he thought I was naïve enough to fall for it?? Hmm it was interesting not to mention a turn off and a disappointment! Love is not sex. Sex is not Love. I think we should all know this by now! Either way It was NOT Love!
I have never been a romantic (I thought) but I come to find out that romance is far more than pretty words, flowers, opening doors and butterflies in your stomach (shit I hate) it also means an appreciation for tenderness and an attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for someone. But even so, I hate to say it, I am a pessimist when it comes to love. I never think about how great it’s going to be. I think about how bad it’s going to end. Maybe I programmed myself to be ready for disappointment, because face it all men come short of our expectations when it come to love. I meet someone and automatically I can tell if it’s going to end badly or if it is going to end horribly. I remember the day I laid my eyes on Steven. He was the poster boy for “Bad boys”. He was dark, covered in tattoos, facial hair, had a dirt bike, did drugs, lived in a garage, and was a tattoo artist. He could have any girl. (I say girl instead of women because he was a 28 year old loser going nowhere fast that any normal woman his age would not tolerate his BS) I was 19 and I had never had the attention of a bad boy (I always attracted clean older men...go figure) I was excited to have been noticed by him. I have always wanted a bad boy! I’m a rebel at heart myself and a bad boy would complete me, so I thought. There was only one problem the moment he gave me his number I knew it would End Horribly. That was the first thought, well second thought I had about him lol. I was not going to lie to myself and believe that things were going to go smooth. He was a bad boy for a reason. I said to myself this is going to end horribly I don’t know when or how but I know it will. And I was right. Now why would I set myself up for disaster? Maybe I still had hope. I was younger and naïve. Hard-headed perhaps...call it what you want. All I know is that I ignored my instinct and I paid the consequence. This was one of the many times I met someone and already knew what the outcome would be. I learned my lesson but sometimes i still give in to hope.
I have too many friends who have been in, so called “love” and they are miserable before, during and after the ordeal. I think I am far too young and enjoy my freedom far too much to be able to say “I am going to be selfless and love this ONE person unconditionally” so why even go through the motion. Hmm what do you think about all this?

"Love is like a carousel ride….sometimes you’re up sometimes you’re down but the ride ends before you think, you come off nauseous and worst of all feel robbed". – “Crazy Antics”

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